Hard Candy Christmas
by Agent KB
Summary: Callie tries to mend her heart and get through the holidays. She makes surprise friendships and has an interesting visitor or two. Spoilery only up to the latest ep. C/A with mentions of C/M. NOW COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own none of these characters and seek no profit from this work. Just a little holiday angst and hopefully some joy. Also the title is from a song by the lovely Dolly Parton and the lyrics are her own.

Author's Note: In the tradition of last year's holiday episode, I decided to write a holiday fic in three parts. I promise it will actually be done before Christmas and I hope you like it.

_Hey maybe I'll dye my hair_

_Maybe I'll move somewhere_

Callie gave a little sigh as she finished the stuffing and put it on the table. She listened to the voices in the living room and thought 'I can get through this without her. I had time before her and I'll be able to have time without her.' As she fought the tears, she heard April come in the room. She turned to her and offered a small smile and April offered a sympathetic one back.

Callie never thought she and April would be friends and if anyone had told her she wouldn't have been able to believe it. In fact, she wouldn't have been able to believe it almost as much as she couldn't believe that she now lived in Meredith Grey's attic. She thought back to that morning after she asked Mark for sorbet. He could see it in her eyes, it was a mistake and he took it more gracefully than she'd initially given him credit for.

Callie slept on the couch from then on. She slept there even on the nights she thought the sadness would overtake her and she wouldn't be able to survive without another warm body next to her. She thought of it as her recovery plan. Cristina had said that Callie was never single and Callie took it to heart. 'Perhaps there's something to gain from some time alone' she'd thought. When Mark and Lexie got back together, Lexie offered her room in Meredith's attic to Callie. Cristina had also offered for Callie to move in but Callie couldn't take the heartache she felt over Cristina wasting her gift so she took the lesser of two evils. Callie had always wondered why people ended up at Meredith's when they had no other place to go. She knew now though that Meredith's was actually the perfect place to mend your heart and your life.

"Do you need any more help?" asked April with her cheery disposition and turkey apron.

Callie shook her head as if to clear it and said "No thanks April, I think we're about done. You let everyone know we're ready if you'd like".

As April left, Callie remembered that first night she and April talked on the porch swing outside.

Callie was swinging and reading some research for a new technique on a surgery she had the next day. April came out and was a little startled to find Callie in the swing.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know you were out here" she said as she moved to go inside.

Callie sighed a little frustrated and said "April do you ever think you might not act like I'm some wounded animal every time you see me?"

April looked a little confused and took a moment to compose herself. She took a breath and said more calmly "I just don't want to disturb you. I know you have been spending a lot of time alone and I just wasn't sure if you were ready for company yet"

It was Callie's turn to look a little confused. It was probably the most poignant thing she'd ever heard come out of April's mouth. It was as if April sensed her confusion and said "I know everyone thinks I'm innocent and ditsy and perhaps incredibly annoying. Maybe I've never slept with a man but I do know heartache. I know that you deserve respect to grieve and I just wanted to give that to you"

Callie cleared her throat a little and said "Here, sit" as she moved her books. As April sat down, Callie realized something. She'd been so frustrated with April, with her perkiness and her rainbows and bunny rabbits charm and she knew it was because she reminded her of Arizona. She just couldn't deal with it coming out of someone who wasn't that wonderful blonde woman whom she'd loved and lost. 'Still love' thought Callie.

As she and April sat and talked however, Callie realized that April reminded her of someone not linked to hurt and longing. She reminded her of someone with warmer current feelings associated with them and a longer history. April reminded Callie of her sister and it was that, that made Callie feel that perhaps she didn't have to avoid April but they could actually be friends. At the time, she didn't know how happy she'd be to have a friend who wasn't so connected to all she'd gone through, someone fresh and someone who could help her laugh and smile again.

She was brought back to the present by April's entering the kitchen again. "Everyone's ready" she said with a smile.

Callie took off her apron and fixed her hair. "Let's go" she said as she followed April into Meredith's living room.


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey maybe I'll learn to sew_

_Maybe I'll just lie low_

_Maybe I'll hit the bars_

_Maybe I'll count the stars until the dawn_

_Me, I will go on_

**Christmas Eve**

Callie walked into the living room with her sewing bag to find April lying on the floor looking up at the Christmas tree. She smiled and said "What are you up to?"

April moved so she was no longer under the tree and sat up. "One of my favorite things about Christmas has always been looking up into the tree. All the lights and the smell of pine, it makes me believe that magic is still possible."

Callie gave her a nod and sat down on the couch with her bag. She pulled out the hat she'd been working on for her sister. She turned to April a little confused and said "I thought you were going home for Christmas."

April moved to sit by Callie. "I was but Bailey was doing a surgery I didn't want to miss today. I called my parents and assured them I would be home for New Year's. What about you? Why aren't you with your family?"

Callie shook her head a little. "I'm not quite sure. I called Aria and couldn't get an answer and my parents have mysteriously taken off on some trip to the Bahamas. I guess they all figured it wouldn't be a big deal before…" Callie's face fell a little and she went back to her hat.

April put her hand on Callie's shoulder. "Well how bout we bake some Christmas cookies and watch _Love Actually_?" April offered her a sympathetic smile.

Callie considered it for a moment. She wasn't exactly excited about a romantic movie when her heart was still mending but the excited look on April's face was almost too much to resist. "Ok. I'll finish this and you go pull out one of my cookbooks and find something you'd like to make and we'll bake them together."

"Why don't I just bake them for us?" asked April.

"Cause you know my cookies are way more badass than yours" Callie said as she winked at April.

April laughed and playfully punched Callie in the shoulder. "Yeah, yeah, be right back"

Just then, the doorbell rang. Callie set down her hat and said "I'll get it."

"Ok" said April as she left for the kitchen.

Callie went to the front door and called "Who is it?"

"Your favorite person in the whole wide world" said the person on the other side.

Callie stopped for a minute and thought "It can't be". She rushed and opened the door.

Aria Torres smiled and said "Hey big sis! I got all your messages. Damn, you try to surprise someone and they think you've forgotten all about them".

Callie just stood there in shock for a moment and then started to cry. "Aria?" she asked.

Aria looked at her confused. "Yeah aren't you happy to see me?"

Callie lunged for her sister and almost knocked her over. She hugged her tight and started to sob.

"No llores hermana por favor. I'm here, hermana, I'm here. Estoy aqui, it'll be ok" said Aria as she calmed Callie down and hugged her back. *

**A few hours later**

Aria looked over at a sleeping April as the credits rolled on the screen. "She's kind of a lightweight" She smiled at Callie.

Callie smiled and shook her head. "Too much Christmas cheer and cookies probably wore her out. Hand me that blanket"

Aria handed her a blanket and Callie draped it over April.

Callie got up and said "Let's grab some wine and go sit outside".

"Ok" said Aria as she grabbed a blanket and headed for the porch swing.

Callie came out a few minutes later with two glasses of red wine. She sat down and draped half of the blanket over her lap. She took a sip of her wine and said "So it's not that I'm not happy you're here but why are you here?"

Aria turned to her and said "You forgot to call Daddy a couple weeks in a row. Mama said you wouldn't stay on the phone for more than five minutes. A few months ago you were leaving for Africa and then you stayed. I put the pieces together and figured you might need a familiar face who was completely on your side"

Callie offered her sister a small smile and said "You're right."

"She was it, wasn't she?"

Callie shook her head and said "I thought she was but when we were in that airport and she just left…I don't know Aria. I thought there was no way I was wrong. We'd been through so much and in those last few months we were doing so well. I wasn't pushing and she was compromising and I was so happy. Then she left, she left like it took nothing to just leave. She cried but it felt almost condescending in a way. I was so ready to go with her and try to make the best of it but she couldn't stay." Callie wiped a few tears off of her cheek.

Aria put her hand in Callie's and said "I'm so sorry."

Callie sniffled and said "Me too."

"So what have you been doing?" asked Aria as she took another sip of wine.

"Learning to breathe again. At first I thought I could get over it all those ways I've tried before but she was different so I guess the way I went about things had to be different. I started cooking again and I even learned to sew." Said Callie as she smiled a little.

"That's probably not much of a stretch since you sew people up all the time." Joked Aria.

Callie laughed a little "I guess you're right." She sipped her wine a little then turned to her sister and said "I am really so glad you're here".

"Me too, C, Me too" Aria put her arm around Callie so Callie could lean her head on her sister's shoulder.

**Christmas Day**

"Callie get your ass downstairs so I can open all the lovely presents you got for me!" shouted Aria from the bottom of the stairs.

"Give me a minute ok?" replied Callie. She was just finished up with her e-mails as a new message popped up in her inbox.

It was entitled "My wish for Christmas and the New Year" and Callie couldn't believe the sender. She almost deleted it; she knew that if she didn't it might ruin this whole moving on thing. She was curious though so she decided to open it.

_Dear Calliope,_

_I would love to start off with 'I'm sorry' but it seems so empty. Instead I wanted to share some thoughts with you and I hope the feeling of 'I'm sorry' resonates in these words. I wanted to stay that day. You probably don't believe that I did. I did though, I wanted to stay with you and keep building our life together but I had to know what would happen if I left. I knew what my life would be if I stayed so I had to know what it would be like if I left. The truth of the matter is I don't think I learned much. I've done some good here and seen so many lives changed but all I keep thinking about is the fact that my life was changing. It was already moving in a positive and wonderful direction and I still don't understand why I had to leave. I was so excited about coming here but now I see that although this work is important, it's not anything compared to the beautiful woman I left in Seattle. I don't expect you to forgive me though I hope that you might. My wish for this Christmas and for the New Year is that when I get back to Seattle (which if you're wondering should be in the next couple of days), I can prove to you that though I know I messed up, I still love you. I still want you and I know that asking for another chance is probably too much to ask of you, I'm still asking for it. Even if in the beginning you say no (which I expect you to), I'll be working hard for that possibility of a yes. That possibility that one day you might be with me again and trust me again. I'm still that woman in the bar wanting to know you and wanting to help heal those spaces in your heart that have been broken. Some of which I know I have been the cause of. _

_I'm sorry if I've upset your Christmas as that is not my intent. I love you Calliope and I will be better for you. I can not wait to come back and show you this. _

_All my love,_

_~Arizona_

Callie closed her computer and sighed while she sat for a minute.

Aria walked into the room and said "Damn it C, if you don't get down there I'm going to kick your ass"

Aria stepped toward her sister when she didn't move. "C what's wrong?"

Callie turned to her with tears in her eyes. "She's coming back"

*Don't cry sister please. Sister, I'm here


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Sorry this took me months to finish (Life gets in the way of my writing sometimes). I promise never again. Thanks to anyone who stuck to this story. I hope you enjoy the ending (I even added an extra holiday for you). Lyrics in the part from Joni Mitchell's "River".

_I'm so hard to handle_

_I'm selfish and I'm sad_

_Now I've gone and lost the best baby I ever had_

_I wish I had a river I could skate away on_

**New Year's Eve**

"Oh Come on, seriously?" said Arizona. She'd been on her way back from her meeting with Chief at the hospital and her car had turned off on a residential road. Her return, to say the least had been horrible. Then again, Arizona hadn't expected to be welcomed with open arms. Callie had been avoiding her like the plague since she got back. Arizona gave her distance but couldn't help feeling the need to leave her notes or ask nurses to check on her. She wanted Callie to know she wasn't going anywhere and she would try everything to get her back. Teddy and surprisingly Alex were being super supportive and for that she was very grateful.

Arizona tried her car again and when it wouldn't start, she pulled out her cell to call roadside assistance. 'No signal' it read. "Of course" she sighed. She looked out at the rain and pulled her coat a little tighter.

Arizona grabbed her purse and got out of the car. She looked around and was excited when she recognized the house a couple doors down the street. 'I thought this road looked familiar' she thought. 'I hope Alex is home'.

Arizona made her way toward Meredith's praying someone would be inside to assist her.

**Meanwhile…**

Callie sighed as she finished cleaning her dinner dishes. She was alone in the house as Aria left the day before and everyone else was at the hospital. She'd actually been a little excited about New Year's Eve as she and April planned a movie marathon but April was called in and Callie was left alone. This past week was one of the worst for her. The hospital had never seemed so small with so few places to hide. She couldn't face Arizona but it was like she was everywhere. Normally Callie would find it sweet that Arizona wanted to check on her but instead she found it suffocating. She was still hurt and angry and not ready to face her. Still when the first day she saw Arizona, she still felt the butterflies and the love that had blossomed between them. She was relieved to see that Arizona made it back from Africa ok.

She was on her way to living room to pop in a movie when the doorbell rang. Callie checked the time on the clock in the living room. It was 11:00. 'I wonder who that could be' she thought. The doorbell rang again. "Just a minute" she said.

She opened the door and was face to face with the one person she did not want to see.

Arizona gasped a little when she saw who answered the door. "Oh um I was looking for Alex" she said in a small voice.

Callie looked at her coldly and said "Well he's not here."

Arizona sighed and said "I'm really sorry Calliope but my car broke down and I don't have any cell reception and I was just wondering if I could use a phone. I promise I'll just be quick and then go wait in my car".

Callie considered for a moment refusing Arizona. She felt she didn't owe Arizona this small kindness. Then she took a moment and really looked at her. Arizona's hair was a little wet from the rain and her eyes were tired and her face weary. 'All she wants is a phone call' she thought. She hadn't asked for forgiveness or a way back into Callie's heart. Callie softened a little and said "Ok come in. There's a phone in the kitchen".

She opened the door and watched as Arizona hesitantly walked in and made her way to the kitchen. Callie closed the door and made her way to the living room. She picked a movie and as she was putting it in, Arizona came from the kitchen.

Callie turned to look at her. She didn't think it was possible but it seemed Arizona looked ever more tired and weary than before she walked into the house.

Her face was apologetic as she said "They said they probably won't be here for three hours with all the people out for parties and such. I was wondering" she stopped for a moment then shook her head. "Never mind. Thank you Calliope for letting me use the phone" and she turned toward the door.

Callie wasn't sure what made her say what she said next. Maybe it was the way Arizona looked or maybe it was the fact Callie was still in love with her. No matter what the reason, she couldn't let her go back out in the rain.

"Stay" she said. Arizona looked at her disbelievingly. Callie offered her a small smile and said "I can't let you go outside in that rain and it's pretty cold out. Just stay until they get here."

Arizona smiled a little in response and said "Ok". She settled in a chair by the couch as Callie finished putting in the movie. They sat as far away as possible but both couldn't help the bit of hope that welled in their hearts.

55 minutes later…

This had to be the most silent Callie had ever been while watching a movie. She kept wanting to make comments to Arizona. She wanted it to be like it used to when they would watch movies. Both of them awing at romantic moments and making fun of things that were too dramatic. Too much had happened. 'It just can't be like it used to be' she thought sadly.

Arizona sighed as she shifted in her chair. She'd taken her coat and scarf off and they lay next to her on the arm of the couch. She couldn't remember feeling this uncomfortable. All she really wanted was to take Callie in her arms and make her see that she'd come back for her. She wanted her to know that she chose to come back for a reason. She knew that she left but she wanted to make Callie see why she came back. There just didn't seem to be a good way to start. She lifted her eyes to the clock. '5 minutes to midnight' she thought. Then she said "Were you planning to watch the countdown?"

Callie turned toward Arizona. "Oh what?" She hadn't been paying too much attention and almost forgot that Arizona was there.

Arizona smiled a little. "The countdown to midnight?"

Callie sighed "Oh yeah. Um I guess". She grabbed a remote and switched to a New Year's Eve special.

They sat for a couple minutes until Arizona couldn't take it anymore.

"I meant what I said before" she said simply.

"I'm sorry what?" said Callie. She was trying to think of what Arizona could be talking about.

"The e-mail I sent you" she said.

"Oh" said Callie as she turned to look at her. 'Is she really going to do this now?' she thought. "We don't actually have to talk about that right now".

"I'd like to if you don't mind. Please Calliope, I haven't been able to say some things and I think they're really important" said Arizona.

Callie sighed as she considered Arizona. The television started to count down and as it did Callie thought of the million reasons why she didn't owe Arizona the chance to explain. When she turned to look at her though, it was the one reason she wanted her to that made her say "Ok".

Arizona moved to sit closer to Callie on the couch. "Like I said in my e-mail, I'm still not sure about why I left but I do know why I came back. I'm so sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry that I made you spend months here feeling horrible and rejected. I know people leave you. I know that's what hurts you more than anything else and then I went and did that same thing. I came back for you though Calliope and I will spend the rest of my" she stopped for a moment as tears welled up in her eyes. Upon seeing her like that, Callie moved a little closer. Arizona took a deep breath and continued "the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. You're it for me Calliope. Honestly and truly. You're it" she said as a few tears fell from her eyes.

Callie couldn't help her own tears forming in her eyes. She took a breath and said "You don't know how much I want to just take you at your word and let you back in. I've spent all this time without you, rebuilding and learning to be myself again. It's not easy Arizona. You leaving hurt more than anyone else before you. I believe in love. I believe in it almost to a ridiculous point sometimes and I've gotten my heart broken because of how often I give it freely. I appreciate you coming back. I want you to know how much I wanted it to happen sooner. I just don't know if I can do this again". She stood up and moved to stand in front of Arizona.

Arizona felt like getting on her knees and begging at this point. Instead she said "I love you and I will love you until the day I die. If it takes me that long to make you see that. To help you see that I would do anything, I will do it. I will take that time. All I ask of you and I know it's not fair and you have every right to say no. All I ask is that you give me a chance"

Callie shook her head and said "I don't know that I can". With that she went upstairs and Arizona spent the next two hours on the couch waiting and hoping for her to come back down.

**4****th**** of July **

"Come on, we're going to be late!" said April as she hurried to the front door with her picnic basket.

"Is she always this excited?" asked Arizona as she carried their blankets and followed April.

Alex and Callie laughed and said together "You have no idea".

As they all made their way to April's chosen spot on the grass, Arizona turned to Callie and said "Thank you so much for letting me come. I haven't seen a fireworks show in so long".

Callie smiled brightly at her and said "Of course I'd invite you. I couldn't have some other girl snatching you up to make out with you under the fireworks".

Arizona laughed a little and said "Oh now I see your motive. Sneaky Calliope". She winked at her and placed their blankets on the ground.

They'd taken it super slow. After that night on New Year 's Eve, Arizona kept trying. On Teddy's advice, she approached Callie as a friend and was slowly invited back into her life. They'd had a case together a couple months ago and the working long hours together was the perfect opportunity for both of them once again to air their grievances. Callie agreed to a date and from there they'd slowly found their way back to each other. They still had a long journey ahead of them but Arizona was so thankful for the opportunity to show Callie that she really wasn't ever going anywhere again.

Alex laughed at April as the fireworks started and her face lit up like a five year old. She noticed and punched him in the arm. "You can't argue that there isn't something magical about fireworks."

Arizona sighed as she leaned her back against Callie's front. "She's right Karev". Callie placed a light kiss on Arizona's neck. Arizona turned to her and smiled as she asked "What was that for?"

Callie smiled back at her and said "For being you."

Arizona smiled even brighter and gave Callie a gentle kiss. Then she had a thought "What made you say yes eventually after I came back?" Arizona had been wondering this for a while and hadn't had the opportunity to ask yet.

Callie considered her for a moment then said. "You came back for me. No one has done that and eventually I realized it was so much more important than the fact you left."

Arizona turned and put her arms around Callie. "I'd do it again Calliope. I'd choose you every time."

Callie smiled and said "And I'd choose you".

Then they kissed as April squealed over the fireworks and Alex cracked a smile.


End file.
